Day 70 : Inferiority as a male in couple


 Today and after one week of procedures abd waiting to process the wire bank transfert. I see that the transfeet is not yet done after the confirmation last friday, in the first time I choose to not share with her the situation inside me I know she will make me more pressure a.d and Remembering me that I do not all what ever it takes to do thing as quick as I want. Si I keep it for myself ..today morning I share with her the situation without doing any thing about it and let her to make a call without answering. That make me feel depressed and anger and under huge pressure.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and lowed myself to still feeling confusion and frustration about this inactivity and waiting.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear confront people and do what I have to do.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not be able to prove that I am the man in this fucking couple and assume my responsability 


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to keep things as they are without making effort and commitment to change.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to still knowing I can do it all and be the real man but still waiting to act now


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear act and face my fears of inferiority and challenge myself. 


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not be the initiator in this relationhsip 


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not feel that I deserve to be a real man and express and negotiate what I want 


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to doubt all the times my opinions my wants and my needs.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to criticize myself first and feel quilt all the time about what is hapenning 


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed to be in the weakness and wrongness situation


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to let myself continue having confusion about my role as a male and a man in this relationship 


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel weak and compromise in this relationhsip 


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel guilt because I did not yet accomplish what I need and I want as couple and family financially 


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel disgust about our relationshi each time I see that I am not playing my role as a strong man in this relationship 


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to still have all those resistance about me as a real man and the father and live my strengthness 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think that my only and unique value in just bring money to family and when I failed to do it I fail as a husband and a father and a man 


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to to not dare to express myself and communicate and resolve the problems in the physical world.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel fear and anger and rage when I see that I think I can  not do some thing about it.


I commit myself to change for real for myself and support myself first 

I.commit myself to confront myself with self honesty and take my self responsability 



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