Day 28 : My Loneliness Demon

 


Last night, I wake up many times to face my demon of loneliness, the possession of ideas during my life I am becoming alone, isolated, separated from others, not able to build a true/real relationship with other human beings! 

Those emotions of deception/sorrow were activated when I become aware that I replaced and eliminated all my relationship with other human beings including my family/my friends/my parents/my brothers TO and toward the one and the only relationship that I keep that is the love/partnership/sex relationship to my "soulmate"! when this relationship fall apart and lost its strength and connectivity end closeness at this moment I wake up in the truth: that I am possessed by the LONELINESS DEMON! 

I think and I consider others first because I do not have a trustfull relationship with myself, now I begin to be aware of all the damage and destruction of all bad things that I did for myself! by dishonesty and untrust toward myself I killed life inside me and the self! I become possessed and owned by My Mind Consciousness System.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel alone, isolated, and separated from others not able to build a true/real relationship with other human beings

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to take myself out of physical reality and live the experience of illusion in my relationship with my mind 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel that I am possessed by a loneliness demon.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not build a true/real relationship with others based on self-honesty and self-trust

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel unequal and inferior in my main one and the only relationship equal and one to love/sex relationship

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not stand up and build self-trust and self-honest real relationship with/as me with myself here 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to neglect myself and trust what I think/feel as Mind Consciousness System as one and equal with me

I Forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel pity toward myself because of all the damage and destruction that I did for myself

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself  to feel shame that I have arrived at this moment when I feel separated from myself as me 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see/understand and realize that I was avoiding confronting myself during all my life  by projecting my dishonesty and untrust in myself toward others by avoiding any kind of relationship except the romantic one and only love/sex relationship that was an illusion of self-care/self-love/self-respect / self-trust/self-honesty


I commit myself to stay close to myself, to build a self-honesty with myself and self-trust with myself

I commit myself to investigate my relationship toward/with myself to reveal all the illusion and games that stop me to build  a real true relationship with me beyond the mind where my life is a pure expression of me/myself

I commit myself to learn/understand and master the kind of honest trustful relationship toward me/myself 

I commit myself to learn/understand the impact and effect of my addiction to sexual energy as an obstacle to living real relationship in the physical world         


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