Day 58 : Competition & Envy as My Caracter

 


In the last month I become aware of the caracyer of competition and envy that become emerged inside me that make me feel drained and sadness,  I observe this caractere taking place in my Main relationship with some friends once they become to accumulated a good material possession in 3 occasion and each time I find mysle take a decision unconsciously to take off from the relationship in the physical world even they are all the time present in my mind as memory/thoughts or emotions . And lately I begin to see this caracter take place in my relationship with my wife and also observe it in the my child développement.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to do whatever it take to be the one and beat the competition to prove that I am the one and the best.


I forgive myslef that I have accepted and allowed myself to choose to be the best and the number one in all team or group that I am In without being aware that I am missing the point to improve and be effective in the groupe by having other people more skillfully and best in other part.


I forgive myslef that I have accepted and allowed myself to envy the accomplishment and success of other people and feel disconfort when I can see someone in my close environment successfull 


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think that competition is a way to prove myself in this world without see/understand/realize that What I am doing is to prove myself as Mind/ego/singularity and not myslef as one as equal to the whole/existence.


I forgive myslef that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see/realize and understand that competition is a pre programme that are here from the beginning of separation of/from the whole as me. 


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myslef to participate in the game of competition to win without be aware that there is no winners in this game expect mind/system/ego and this winning is just an allusion an continous/permanent addiction to energy


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myslef in the pursuit of happiness and positive energy and not understand/see/realise this is another form of competition for getting more and more energy from the substance/body/physicality 


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see/understand and realise that the starting point of competition is separation/survival.


I commit myself to stand up as one and equal with myslef / my body and with existence and once I see an energetic movement of competition or envy inside me I stop and take a deep breath and speak out loud the self forgiveness to make myslef as one and equal with my body and my mind 


I commit myslef to study all dimensions of competition and envy and stand up in the system to challenge the only way competition to win.

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