Day 45 : My Life Is a Mess

 

One week ago, my wife and her father had corona virus, so they stay at home with me , in a small house of 48 mètre square. I felt in those moments that my life is a mess. This situation make me see the trurh front of my eyes .

I am 40 years old and I still not have a clear ordered life..my financial situation is catastrophique,  I do not have any asset in ly name after all those years of work..my relationship with my second wife is duplication of my first relationship.  My health is neglected with my psoriaisis disease and my beginning of obesity, my home is small than that we can not recieve guest at home. My business is stagnante without any real progress in profit and sales. My mind is not focused.

I felt as a victim and guilty to waste all that time without building some thing profitable for my life and business and relationship,  I find myself without true friends and disconnected from all my family. 

When I think about that all what I want to do is to cry and let my tears flow. There is a deep confusion inside me about there is some thing missing in my life. Like that all what I do is just superficial without roots. There is a feeling that nothing is important and feel laziness about my life without any stamina for success or change thing. I FEEL also a big luck of energy, I feel empty and wanting just relax. I do actions without intention or life. 

There is a big mess inside me and I can not yet know how and why !



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