Day 2 : Fear In My Mind and of others' Mind

 

Tonight I had a session with one of my group for who I facilitate a paradigm shift program and after one postponed session from yesterday to tonight...there were noone attend the session just one student and then I decide to cancel the session and send the recording for them tomorrow.

Then there were just one membre that join late the meeting and I was splited in my kind between do the session juste for one person and record it or postponed for later 

I decide to pospoted for later but then I begin to have some emotions about this decision and feel bad about it and I begin to have need to do self forgiveness about all the internal movements about this reactions and here I am that is what I am doing 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel fear about what others will think about me as a model and mentor that he has not keep his comitement and promise 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel not giving enough and not keeping my promise to clients

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel worthless and not worthy about all the money received from those people 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to doubt about my skills to have new people committed and engagement in my program 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to Have thoughts like " you are not good enought" " you are not attracting good energy anymore"..

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that people will not be engaged 

I forgive myslef that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that people are not engaged and think that will threat me not have enough money 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel not deserved of the money that I received from my clients

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel not confident and not strong enough in what I am doing 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think that all things must be as I want and I wish and if not I feel bad and not secure 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel unsecure and instable when I do not keep my promise 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel less what I receive as money from my client s

I forgive myslef that I have accepted and allowed myself to think that what ever I do and provide the money I receive is more than valuable what I offer 

I forgive myslef that I have accepted and allowed myself to worry all the time about the engagement et responsabilité of my clients

I forgive myself that I have accepted a d allowed myself to feel responsible about the engagement of others and my client in the training 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel worthless , less, valueless when my clients not taking their responsability of change in the program 

I forgive myslef that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel controled manipulated and slave of the engagement and responsibility of my clients

I forgive myslef that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel and consider myself as the savior of other and kill myslef to death to save the life of others as I think that should be 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to express need and urgence to convaince other to be engaged and committed in the program 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear what my clients think about me and how they perceive me 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want all the time to recieve the recognition from my clients.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want the acceptance and approval of my clients of what I am sharing 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear the rejection and opposition of my student 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to look for the approval of my student and do all the efforts to avoid conflict.

I commit myself to be aware of all the inner mouvement caused by my interaction with my student and use it as tools and occasion for myself perfection

I commit myself to keep my promise and engagement for myself first and then to my student 

I commit myself to know that there is a huge value in what we are offering to students